


Awkward Prom-blem.

by Kuma5335



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Amedot (kinda), Amethyst is hungry, Awkward Conversations, F/F, Holly is mentioned, Jasper is a good boxer, Popular Pearl, and I'm really bad at tags, awkward in general, but I could finally bring myself to post this!, implied stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 02:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuma5335/pseuds/Kuma5335
Summary: Jasper is relentless about the upcoming night of her prom. More specifically about the lack of a date for it.





	Awkward Prom-blem.

**Author's Note:**

> AAA-! Can't believe that I finally got time to post this here! I'm so excited =)  
> kay, so, it might have errors as I'm not that good at grammar so anything that you guys see PLEASE let me know, so I can improve and do stuff with quality!
> 
> This is a one-shot but exists a possibility that I actually do more parts with time, but not something that will follow a lot of... story. Just a bunch of one-shot in the same universe, probably.  
> Please leave a comment if you like or see some error, I would love to see what you think about it!
> 
> Have a good reading!

I get nervous the more I think about it. The possibilities get crazier every time I think of something new. I can’t just get near her and ask her out; people will think I’m doing something wrong if I mess with her locker even to just deliver a little note, and probably the same if I decide to wait out of the school.

What if I follow her until we get far from school, and then…”

“No! That’s definitely wrong, you imbecile!” I blurt out, delivering a fierce punch into my punch bag, which swung back with power.

“Geez, Jass-P, is that your word for the day?” A familiar voice echoed behind me.

I turn around to see Amethyst taking off her synthetic leather jacket, revealing a black shirt with a _generous_ amount of cleavage, at the same time she kicks her shoes off her feet, making them fly across the room:

“Hey Amethyst”, I nonchalantly said, turning around once again before striking one more punch “Didn’t see _ya_ here.”

“Oh, _don’t mind me_.” Said, exaggeratedly. “Just, _ya_ know, _watcha_ doing?”

I stop the swing of the bag with both hands, let a long sigh out, and turn around to gaze at Amethyst, already on her bed doing something with her phone. Have no idea what, but her eyes were _glued_ to the screen:

“Do you even care?” I walked towards my bed while asking, noticing her _clear_ interest in my state.

Just as get close to my bed I notice that wasn’t a room for me to fit, as Amethysts precious comic books were occupying it. Not only that, as I look around, I observe that this room was passed beyond “a mess”. I don’t even remember the last time we asked for pizza, and there it was a box of one, over the floor. _Oh_ , and it smelled like _fish_! Then, right at the side of it were a - _presumably_ \- dirty sock, just one, not a pair:

“Of _course.”_ Amethyst emphatic states, disturbing my analysis over our room. She was still holding her phone over her face. _“_ You are _so_ important to me, sis.” She didn’t even move an inch to look at me, though.

Groaning a little, I threw the comic books that were on top of my bed into the ground before jumping in it. Amethyst snorted as the springs of my bed creaked under my weight, followed by a loud thump:

“Man, you’re gonna _destroy_ your bed like that!” She said, with a half-smile while she swooped her chubby finger into the phone. I put one arm behind my head before look at the stained ceiling.

“Nah, it’s a strong bed” I retorted, putting both of my hands under my head with a smile.

“At this apartment?” A smile crossed Amethyst face as she starts typing something, “Everything is just half-assed. Best be careful with your punch bag or we’re gonna end up with a _hole_ in our wall.”

I laughed at the comment, and Amethyst did the same:

“Oh, shit, Holly wouldn’t like that,” The corner of my mouth quirked up at the thought of her face distorting in terror mixed with angry.

Holly was the land _lady_ , as she pretty much likes to insist. I’m just glad she let us stay. As long I take good grades and deliver half of the rent every month, that is. I glare at the roof as I think about how good it is to at least have one above my head. My folks couldn’t care less if they are paying my debts. They think that’s all they need to do as if this is everything I need and now I can be by myself just fine.

“I bet my _ass_ she wouldn’t,” Amy said, _finally_ putting her phone down and thankfully pulling me out of this rabbit hole, just to be welcomed by a math book that I found on my right side. “Holy _fuck!”_ She ducked her head just in time to dodge the book.

“Your naughty twat” I snickered, returning the hand that threw the book back at my head. She laughed back at me, and I continued. “I bet you would like _her_ ass instead.” Amethyst snorted at the comment.

“Hey, I’m a _compromised_ girl now, okay?” Confidently, almost in an annoying way, my roommate announced proudly.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right! And how're things with this one… what’s her name again?” I asked, with a teasing smile.

“Peridot!” Amethyst practically jump out of her bed, glaring at me angrily. “ _C’mon J-ass,_ I talk about her all the time, man – She’s in your class and all!”

“I know!” I retorted, suppressing a smile, turning to my side to look at her, “I’m just _teasing you_! Come on, don’t look at me like that!”

Amethyst looked away instead, but I saw her cheeks turning red briefly before an object took my view and hit _hard_ on my head. I yelled while I was knocked off into my back once again. Right on my forehead. Dammit. Groaning, and massaging the sore spot as my dizziness passed, I looked down, noticing the same Math book that I threw early:

“I didn’t know this one was a boomerang. Ouch!”

“Revenge _is_ sweet” Spoke Amethyst, smiling in a deviant way. “But forget this, and tell me what you were doing when I came in.”

Oh, yeah, that’s right. I let out another big sigh when I thought about it. I got distracted and totally forgot what I was thinking. Now that I remembered, I got melancholic again. I ran my hand over my chin and looked at Amethyst, who was looking at me silently, but expectantly; what was at least _a difference_ from early:

“The prom is coming up, right?” I started, hesitant, but I drew air in and forced myself to say the rest “And I'd want to call someone to go with me but I don’t know how I’m supposed to!”

“Yea, but _who?!”_ She retorted.

“Pearl!” I blurted out.

“ _Whaat?!” Yelled_ Amethyst, putting both hands in her mouth, trying to suppress the laugh she wanted so hard to do. “ _The_ Pearl? I didn’t even know you knew her!”

“I – I see her around!” I muttered. “… In the hallways.”

“That’s it?” She started to laugh at my face, dangling those damn legs of her while she was on it. “ _Dude,_ you didn’t even talk to her yet?!” She started another round of laughs. Bumping her right foot on the bed.

I stood up, messing with my hair anxiously, and Amethyst annoying laugh wasn’t helping either:

“Can you _stop?”_ I groaned, grasping my messy hair tightly, and that made the trick. She still had this _teasing_ fucking smile, but at least she stopped! “I – actually – don’t have a _clue_ about what I should do! But she’s – she’s _hot_ and, and classy, and – I probably shouldn’t say she’s hot in front of her…” I ran my left hand through my face as I noticed that I was rambling, and I exhaled heavily; ending looking at the stained ceiling once again.

“You _definitely_ shouldn’t!” Amethyst burst in laughs, probably imagining the scenario. “She’s like, the top 10 students of the school, all fancy, and she likes ballet and shit…”.

“I know!” I grunted, looking at my roommate again.” That’s why I can’t even _approach_ her! Everyone starts to _glare at me_ like I’m a fucking outsider _!_ And they look _terrified_ too.

Amethyst laughed, tilting her head back, making her tee pulls up a bit, revealing some skin:

“Of _course_ they do!” Amethyst sit on the bed again “An almost 7 feet tall woman passing through hallways looking angry? I would be scared as fuck too.” She pointed to my face, like that would state anything.

“I _don’t_ look angry!” I blurted out.

“You do!” Exclaimed” In fact, you’re angry _right now!_

“ _That’s not my angry face, is my ‘I am so anxious right now’ face!”_ I yelled her back.

“ _Eh!_ Can’t tell the difference.” She let her back hit the bed, looking bored as fuck.

I close my eyes tightly, gritting my teeth hard and just trying not _curse_ the ass off this runt. I spent some time on that. Then I let yet another sigh when I could finally calm down:

“Prom is next week!” I complain as I get up of my bed “People is already figuring this out – getting couples – and my time is running out!” I was walking in little circles” I _need to_ ask her out, or I'm going to spend a sorrow _alone_ night full of Ice cream and thrash movies.” I stopped, crossing my arms, “And probably some snickers too.”

“What a drama queen” mumbled the runt. Her face glued on the phone _again_.

“You are _such_ a helper, Amethyst,” I grumbled.

“And I’m not even trying…” answered, snickering. Her fingers were moving fast on the cell phone.

“…Why are you _lookin_ ’ so proud?

“Well,” she started” _I'm_ gonna be ditching the prom and going out with Peridot all night. You should come with us.” Although she said that, Amethyst didn’t demonstrate any enthusiasm at all.

“Yes, because it’s going to be _quite_ the promising night being your third wheel.” I groaned, looking at her in annoyance.

“You lose, then.” She said, without a look at me, rolling her right leg a little while smiling to the screen.

“And I thought Peridot would like to go to the prom?”

“That’s true… We _are_ going to the prom, but we’re leaving early to… _ya_ know, smooches and stuff.”

She dropped a bit her phone, eyes peeking out, looking at me, and I just blinked and snickered. Yeah, at least someone is going to have some fun here, I thought:

“K – I – S – S – I – N – G?” I asked with a mischievous grin.

“You’re such a kid, J-Ass.” Although she was not hiding her smile.

Yea, whatever. I’m just glad Amethyst didn’t throw another book at me. I looked around and went to the door, avoiding the pile of clothes spread out on the floor. I had to be careful with the books as well. I didn’t want to stomp on any important “didactic” books of Amethyst because she always yells my ass off:

“Leaving. I’m gonna grab some grub on the way back.” I said. That was the rule. If someone leaves after 5 pm, she gets the food.

“Awesome…”

I scratched my head on my way out the building. I Always did that when I’m lost in thoughts. We live on the second floor of Holly’s apartment, which I share the monthly fee with Amethyst to be cheaper. It’s very tough for Ame who has to work to pay her part; I’m glad that my parents still got my back ‘ _till_ college, but after that, I will have to run solo.

Man, the streets were quite empty tonight. That is rare. If only the school’s hallways could be more like that when I’m trying to approach Pearl. I rub my arms and sigh, I should have put a jacket. It’s cold, and wear a combo of shorts and tank top wasn't very much helpful to cope the breeze:

“ _C’mon_ Jasper, you’ll handle a light breeze like that” I mumbled to myself, thinking about how movies like to insist that cold is just something psychological.

I cross the block without paying too much attention to cars, and then I turn to the right. I didn’t have a specific place to go so I was just walking randomly. Meanwhile, my thoughts were going to Pearl once more. I wish I could be in the same class as her. At least I could approach her more easily. But no, I couldn’t be more distant from her in the school. Starting with the fact that my grades are rather average. They are good because I have to show Holly my grades, but nothing excellent. And people like to start rumors about me just because I'm tall, have vitiligo, and… well, I’m beefy. And I live with Amethyst, whose reputation isn’t the best either. It’s like the spirits aren’t on my side.

My hands were cold, so I gave up and at least put them in my short’s pocket. Looking down on the boardwalk while walking, I contemplate my thoughts again.

Every time I look at Pearl she has these eyes that always freezes me up. Like she stabbing my heart. Not as something bad, though… she just has this power over me, which I found so intriguing, because, not trying to be arrogant but I guess being already, I’m quite confident when it comes to girls. But Pearl? Gosh, she looks – _is_ flawless! Pearl has good grades, is the leader of the debate team at school, it’s totally popular as well… she dances ballet and I heard she were very good at it too, and good level as actual presentations and everything! How can she manage all of that, I wonder? I’m struggling with just my bills.

I don’t even know she has a date yet or not.

I stopped, close to a tree. There are few people here either. I was in the middle of the boardwalk that was getting colder by the minute, standing like an idiot with just a shorts and top tank and beating myself up to build the courage to ask a girl out. Can this get more tragically gay?

“What the fuck am I doing, really?” I close my eyes, arching my eyebrows up and letting a soft smile quirks up. “What a crazy romantic comedy.”

Yeah, she’s perfect… have absolutely beautiful light brown hair, and spotless perfect pale skin, white as snow. She looks a dream. And the way she walks… it’s as if she’s drifting through the air; so smooth, so beautiful…! I give a long sigh:

“ _Fuuck_ ,” I say, like a long, husky whisper.

I resumed my walk trying not to have any further thought on what I liked on Pearl. Maybe I should just hit the gym and sweat this tension off. Maybe hit on some rookies on the ring, get some easy victories, work out a little bit and then doing for real if I get excited.

Yeah… you know what? That is what I’m going to do. And on the way back, I grab some dinner to Ame and me and we can talk shit all night long watching some movie or tv show, or I don’t know. Now that I have some kind of destination point, I hit off the street way quicker. Pearl and my courage are still bugging me in the back of my head, but they’re turned into a minimum. I can think of other things now, and that is refreshing.

 

(…)

The first thing I notice as I enter the gym is that was way hotter than outside, which was pleasantly nice. Maybe it was the concentration of people working out, but I didn’t care too much about the details. The place wasn’t empty like the streets and that also was a nice thing. I went to the lockers quickly, just to put my phone and wallet in it before I go back to the gym.

The punch bags here was heavier than the one back in our apartment, which gave me a good warm-up. I did some stretches and push-ups before putting the gloves on and entering the ring. It had been weeks since I put my feet on one. I forgot how nice the view could be. Like I’m on a higher ground, in a real arena; furthermore, it felt like I was in _my environment_. I leaned my back and elbows against the ropes, feeling confident and relaxed; so much that I didn’t notice how _crooked_ my grin looked. I challenged anyone to barge in and take me to a good dance.

I delivered some good punches in everyone. Moving through the ring like breeze and every punch connected felt wonderfully good. Today I was a beast without a leash. I felt so pride in myself when I knocked someone out in the first assault. I knocked one, two people before I began to build some real sweat. There was an actual crowd cheering for me right now and some of them were women. They were closer no my corner and I approach there and rested my chest on the ropes, looking at them with my best flirtatious smile. Course, none of them were Pearl, but, oh, if they didn’t make my self-esteem rise to the ceiling. Some smiled back, others don’t, but you can’t always win.

The third one did little of me because I was a woman, and this one was the most satisfying to defeat. I swept the floor with him, just to teach him a little lesson. When I was done, I was more than a little tired, though. I went to my corner and grabbed a towel to wipe some sweat as I left the ring. It was late as well, so Amethyst is probably cursing me through messages right now because she must be hungry. First things first, though; I need a long and well-deserved shower, and this gym does offer a nice and good locker room with them.

“Thanks for swooping his butt!” Cheered one of the women in my little crowd. Never actually talked to her, but saw her around. She’s like a skinny version of me.

“Hey, you are welcome” I answer back with a smile, putting my towel around my neck. “Next time, maybe we could take turns. Have a little sparring, maybe.

She laughed and then looked nervous as hell, even blushing a little as she tensed up her shoulders:

“No way,” She spoke” These can’t compare to yours” she then flexed her biceps a bit before pointing to me.

I snickered, stopped, then looked at her, taking some few steps closer, which made her seem more nervous, actually:

“Don’t beat yourself up over your muscle tone. We can always take some little sparring, teach each other things and have some fun. I _Betch’a_ have some quick punches.” I grinned, which apparently made her impressed. She smiled a bit and relaxed her shoulders as I continued. “Box is about feeling good with _your_ body, and not being jealous or sad because of the others.”

“Hey, don’t take me lightly just because I’m, well, skinny” I snickered a little. She raised her open left hand in my direction. I looked at her face and she looked cocky as me when I’m confident. “I’ll sweep ya perfect booty if you give me the opportunity.”

I laughed a little and then slightly bumped my right closed fist into her open hand, grinning at her:

“What’s your name, chump?” I asked.

“My name is…” she then stopped, looked down for a couple of seconds and the glared at me with fierce eyes. “Actually, just call me Skinny.”

I snickered. That _was_ a fitting nickname. I let go of her hand and grabbed my towel:

“I’m Jasper.”

“Nah, I’ll just call you Ms. Perfect.” Retorted, making me snicker.

“Not Booty Perfect?” I teased, turning a bit to my side with my signature crooked grin.

“ _That_ comes without saying.”

I chuckled as I turned around, giving my back to her, starting to walk towards the lockers.

“I’m gonna hit the showers. Bye.” Then I raised my right hand and I gave her a little wave.

The place was practically empty. I guess I was going a little bit early because I’m used to seeing this place _crowded_. I open my locker before taking my tank top and bra off, exposing my beautifully toned frame to the world. It was a bit chilly here, but I didn’t bother. I slightly sniffed the air, sniffing a familiar smell, and moved my heads towards my right armpit until… urgh:

“ _Geez_ , I’ll have to rub baking soda on _ya_ tonight, have I not?

Just the thought of getting close to Pearl tomorrow with these smelling Devils under my arms make my spine cold. Not that I _could_ get close, with all the stares. I let out a long sigh as I take off my shorts and panties. I put everything in the locker without too much care. Although, I _saw_ something interesting before closing it. Folded, _clean_ clothes. I probably let it here in case of emergencies, and I love myself for this. It’s unusually well-thought of me _and extremely convenient_. It’s almost like I knew that would happen.

_“Hey, someday I might be too stressed over a platonic crush and drifting randomly the streets until I decide to hit on some overrated newbies”._

I shake my head at that thought. Like I would be _that_ specific. Anyway, I entered one of the stalls and had a long, relaxing, with hot water, shower. I didn’t even know how long I had this sensation. I don’t exactly have hot water in the apartment, and I never get early enough in the showers before the hot water is completely used. So, getting out of training early today was the best decision I've made in a long time. It’s a shame that I couldn’t have a sparring match with Garnet, though. Maybe she just couldn’t come today.

I yawned as I close the shower, squeaking sounds echoing through the cabin. Damn, that was very nice. Just what I needed after this workout. I relaxed so much that I _actually_ feel a little sluggish, and I couldn’t help but have a tired smile on my face as I run the towel over my wet hair and face, then over my chest and biceps and armpits. I didn’t forget about them, and they’re going to have the baking soda treatment later.

I looked over my reflex on the little mirror that I kept inside the locker. I need to dye my hair again. I'm beginning to see the roots of my hair showing. Every time this happens, it's the sign that I must dye them again. I have nothing against the natural color of my hair, but I think that blonde platinum has a better contrast with my face, which makes me feel better about myself than my natural black.

I wonder if Pearl has ever thought about dyeing. I bet a peachy rose would be lovely on her. Well, maybe she can’t dye her hair because of ballet, I don’t know. I hear these people are strict. Sighing, I grabbed the clean clothes, yet another tank top and… wait, the red camo pants I was looking for a few days back! I searched for you all around the apartment, your little devil!

It seems it was close to rush hour now because the movement of people in the locker room was increasing. I did not feel like wearing sweaty underwear at the time, so I just took the clean clothes and put them on. I put the towel back in my locker and retrieved my cell phone and wallet before closing it as I get ready to leave. I’ll let older Jasper deal with the dirty undergarments.

I leave the gym as I looked over my social networks for something interesting, but nothing really caught my attention besides the shout out to the homework tomorrow. Which I didn’t make yet, so I shall do it tonight… and is going to suck hard and my night of fun with Ame will go down the drains. I look at the hour on the lock screen:

“It’s seven and a half already?!” I grumbled, sighing in putting my phone in the front pocket of my pants.

I have to grab dinner yet! Amethyst is going to fucking _kill_ me today! How long did I _stay_ in that shower, _goddammit_? I cross the street quickly without waiting for cars as I remembered that it would be faster if I took a bus to some fast-food and then go home.

Amethyst _does_ like Subway, but it doesn’t have anyone _near_ where I am right now. Although, if I _buy_ _her favorite_ she might be pleased enough to not kill me so hard. So hard, I said. What a cruel doubt. I walk fast towards the bus point anyway, while I’m deciding my next destination. Well, maybe I should go for it, at least I will have an excuse to buy me something with a lot of cheddar, my utmost _favorite_ kind of cheese. _Oh,_ if that wouldn’t complete my day… maybe it won’t be like a back rub but gets _close enough._

Suppressing a smile, I stop at the bus stop.

No ulterior motives, Jasper. I’m just trying not to be killed by a 5.3 feet runt.

 

(…)

I leave the Subway with a paper bag in hands and one cookie in the mouth. I couldn’t resist, it was stronger than me. I didn’t even care about what time was now. I went towards the bus stop in my time. I could get on the next bus and go straight to my neighborhood if I did not waste any time. My eyebrows were low as I ate the last pieces of chocolate from the cookie. I was relaxed, but having to come here to buy two sandwiches gave me a little time to think about the homework that I have to do. Maybe I could borrow it from a classmate. I scratch the back of my neck as I cross the street to reach the point. Maybe it would be asking too much since I had one entire week to do it. I should just do it on my own, it should not be that big. I guess. I expect. I hate chemistry.

I yawn once more, sitting very unwillingly on the bench to wait for the next bus, the paper bag in my hands hanging between my legs. Now that my body has cooled I feel a little tired and sleepy. I scratch my eyes a little bit as I wait. Let’s see, I woke up next to 7 AM to get ready for school; I had my coffee, I had a proper lunch… maybe stressing more than usual about Pearl was what made me so tired, combined with the exercises.

The traffic was calming down at this hour. I was used to the motion, engine noises, and occasional honks by now. So much, that they actually put me in a soothing mood. Maybe if I could listen to music now would be better, but I’m not complaining right now. My eyelids grew heavier by the second, but I don’t give myself permission to doze off, although I did want to take a nap right now. Everything was kind of relaxing; maybe because I could take this whole situation off of my head for a moment, but I feel so more peaceful.

Well, like it or not though, I had to stand up, because my bus was already there. Is a good thing that I always carry my Student ID around, just in case.

I entered the bus and I forced myself to stand so I couldn’t fall asleep or doze off. I always get nervous on buses, because I’m tall and I _do_ occupy a lot of space too, so I always self-conscious about my surroundings and people looking at me, but mostly because I _don’t want to lose my stop_. It always bothers me where I should or not leave, even when I know the exact location. But it would be the same with subways and I feel a lot more claustrophobic there because it’s _underground_. I don’t have money for taxis and walk from where I am isn’t available, unless I want to take thrice the amount of time I would need. For the time being, I just rest my back in one of the bars and wait for my stop to arrive, glad that wasn't the rush hour anymore.

Maybe three or four blocks later, the bus stops. I got lucky so far, but this time people get in, crowding a bit the bus. Although, nothing to worry about, since there are still many vacant seats. I looked the people getting in as I’ve been doing until now until I see someone that made me froze completely. With a side bag across her shoulder and ultimate confidence, _Pearl_ enters the bus with a nonchalant expression, which made me gulp dry. She doesn’t notice me and is a few feet away, looking the other way around. But _I can see her!_

 _Holy fuck, what is she doing here?_ I thought, gritting my teeth hard and kneading the paper bag a little under my hands. My face going from almost sleeping to completely afraid and anxious in a split of a second. Pearl, on the other side, almost turns her back to me while holding one of the bus grab bars. The bus isn’t crowded, and I can see her perfectly from where I am right now; meaning that the other way around _might_ be possible. Also, I never stood so _near_ to her before and I’m freaking out! Where’s all the confidence I showed in the sparring matches today? _Why’d you leave me, your son of a bitch!_

The bus starts to move again, and I wasn’t ready for that; for any of that. I actually got off my balance, and if my instincts and adrenaline didn’t kick I would probably hit my face on the floor. Face on the floor or not, it was very disgraceful and embarrassing, and my anxiety wasn’t helping either. I quickly gazed towards Pearl direction and she didn’t move an inch.

_Okay! Okay! Calm down._

I recompose myself the best I could while I keep staring at her. She clearly didn’t notice me. Tha – that’s good! I would die of shame if she saw me right now.

I gave a quick look outside and I wasn’t near to my stop yet, so I was _grounded_ here in this damn bus. _Oh_ , stars, I must look ridiculous right now. But _her_ – She looked beautiful… I gulped one more time, feeling myself relax _just_ a bit. I start to rub one of my thumbs over my other fingers while I look at her, and despite the cold night, my face was _on fire_. I could go into the minimal details about her on this distance. She was looking a bit down, so the back of her neck would show over the collar of her sweater. I never noticed how charming it looked, so beautiful, slim and _inviting – no! Wait! I shouldn’t stare at her like that!_

I bobbed my head in the opposite direction almost immediately. I noticed I was holding my breath, so I let out, and that relieved me a little. Why this is happening right now?!

 _Wait_ , isn’t this the perfect opportunity, though? You can ask her to the prom! Just go over there and ta – _I can’t just **walk** over there and **talk** to her!_ _I never_ _talked to her! I don’t even know if she’s aware of my **existence**! _ But she’s right there, make yourself noticed – _and say what? Hey, Pearl, I have the biggest crush on you, I see you almost every day, and I think you’re beautiful as fuck, **and** **it is totally a coincidence** that we met here right now __–_ _so anyways, want to go to the prom with me?_

It’s a start – _No it’s not!_

_What if she knows me, but believes in all that bullshit rumors and is scared as fuck of me?!_

I looked at her again, and she wasn’t looking in my direction. Instead, she was seeing through her bag, one hand inside of it, looking thoughtful. I didn’t know if she was just _ignoring_ me, but that didn’t put me at ease – well I’m sure that if she _was_ looking at me I wouldn’t be at ease too! I didn’t get track of my surroundings _or_ the time; my heart was _racing_ , I was starting to build some cold sweat too. I had never had such a reaction to women before.

Was all that just because I think she would be afraid of me? I guess not, it’s something with the way that she makes me feel combined with the feeling that I just don’t _belong_ here. Just look at her, she’s so gracious and she’s not even doing something, she is just passing one of her long, slender – _oh, so slender_ – fingers through her phone. But she looks _adorable._ If I could just reach her, hug her and tell how cute she is right now.

I looked away one more time, feeling my cheeks burn like hell as I think of how much of an obsessed freak _stalker_ I look in this moment. How can I say something like that, or feel that, if I don’t even know her enough?! Shame just starts to slap my face, hard like reality itself. I take deep breaths as I tried to, at least, not dwell on that. I’ve been feeling this tight feeling in my chest since the first time I got my eyes on her and things just… balled and rolled like a big, horrible and terrible snowball.

Amethyst laughed hard at my face when I told her early, so that’s a sign of how _ridiculous_ everything must sound. Pearl looks so mesmerizing in the school’s halls, and she’s always alongside someone. Always talkative and _happy_ and she almost _glows_ … I just wanted a little of that to rub off on me at the beginning, then I wanted to talk and get to know her better, and before I realize I got myself going to school expecting to _see_ her, and then everything quickly turned into that… _mess_ …!

I ran my free hand through my face quickly as I noticed that my eyes were tingling. _Why am I such a fucking awkward teenager?!_ No wonders they make rumors about me…

My fingers went up to my hair just after, the other hand holding tight the Subway paper bag. I sighed once more and gritted my teeth as I held my breath and tried a tentative step closer to her. My stomach twitched completely – _Why?!_ I glare at my stomach, infuriated. _This is so frustrating!_ _Stop expecting anything, I’m just walking! She’s not going to explode just because I’m near her!_

I breathed a few more times and, without looking at her, I approached a few more steps. It turns out that when I was not looking at her, my body did not react in any way, and it made me a bit thankful. However, I could feel the sweat on the hand that held the bag, and I hope it does not affect the sandwich. Not that I _cared_ about the sandwiches right now.

I stopped for a few seconds, contemplating that fact: I got close to her. I _actually_ got close to her! I was so pumped right now that I could barely hold my smile. _Okay, Chill now, Jasper. You did it. You got close, now look at her_. I did that. I looked at her one more time, and I totally stop in my tracks, a tingly sensation running up my spine making me shiver. She was looking at me!

I instantly grabbed the nearest grab bar, startled; and gods I was grabbing it very tightly as my cheeks and ears burned. Seeing her light blue eyes towards my direction made me so nervous that I had to avert my eyes.

Oh, Stars! We’re very close to each other right now. Each of us was on different sides of the bus exit, which is obviously the closest I got to her since I met Pearl. My heart was racing as I got a look outside, trying not to stare at Pearl and _think_ of my probably horrible face right now. I hope I’m not ridiculous. I hope she couldn’t smell my armpits – god, my damn armpits – even then I had a bath. She _probably_ saw that I’m not shaving them since I’m grabbing the bar right now! _Ugh…_ she might think I look ugly and not _lady-like_.

Just great. I’m ruining things even when I’m not talking.

Is she – _yes!_ I had looked at her and then back in a blink of a second. _Still staring!_

Why is she still staring? Maybe because my face is red like a tomato or because I look sick. Or… maybe is my vitiligo? It could be, I get stares all the time because of it. I gulped and build some courage to look again, and I squinted my eyes a bit but that time I didn’t look away, although I am pretty sure that I looked ridiculous and awkward. I glared at her and she glared me back and didn’t speak a word. It was awkward, but at least this time I could look at her properly. Her big eyes and slim form standing in such… perfect, correct, stand. She was holding her bag close to her torso and using one light pink sweater and black jeans. I pursed my lips and moved my eyes to her face one more time… still looking at me… with a smile? She seems… amused.

Maybe she… recognizes me?

“Aren’t you cold?” She suddenly started. Oh, _darn_ her voice is _so soft_.

“I – I – I am sorry?” I muttered back, I just can’t, couldn’t, process anything right now.

But she _actually, sincerely_ giggled! Okay, that’s a surprising – but _good_ response!

“I asked…” she started again, her eyebrows joining a little as she brings her left fist a bit close to her mouth “… if you weren’t cold”.

“I, well…” I stammered a little more as I looked down at myself and noticed again that I was using a tank top. I raised my eyes to her, just to find her pressing her fist slightly into her lips to hide her smile. “Quite the opposite”. Because I was burning in a fire pit of my embarrassment to notice that I was cold.

“Oh, okay…” She mumbled, looking more amused. “If you say so.” I saw her look me from head to toe, and then snicker.

I stared at her for a few more seconds, speechless. She turned to the exit as she held this precious smile, and I was contemplating the fact that I finally could exchange some words with her! It made things so much easier, and I was beaming at that. I felt my chest loosen as I was still piecing together my thoughts and thinking about what just happened.

However, as sudden as she spoke to me, the bus stops. The doors open, and Pearl look at me one more time, which still made my heart skip a beat, but it was better than last time.

“So, _hm_ … goodbye”, she waved with a half-smile and then starts to go downstairs.

Wait… what?

She’s moving away! The voice in my head panicked. _I know!_ Then do something, she’s leaving! _I'm frozen!_ Are you going to let her leave like that? _No, I will not!_ Then do something, she’s stepped out of the bus! _What do I do?!_ Go after her, move, say something, just… **do something!**

 **“** _Wait!”_ I raised my voice as I practically jumped the stairs out of the bus. Pearl was already on the boardwalk, but heard me and stopped, and just behind me the bus closed its doors and left.

Oh, ** _fuck me_** _!_ That’s not my stop yet!

I just closed my eyes and heard the bus go away, silently. I couldn’t do anything to stop it now, just accept the consequences of it. A very long “ _fuck_ ” hissing out of my lips as I hold my, now surely, cold sandwiches in one of my hands, and my heart on the other. I walk towards Pearl, which at least waited for me.

“I’m so dumb”, I groaned, “That wasn’t my stop.”

Pearl's face changed from curious to worried, and then she looked at the general direction where the bus left, with widened eyes. It probably must be just around the street corner now.

“Oh, that’s too bad…” she mumbles, looking at me again with a pained smile, “Why’d you leave, then?”

My shoulders get tense as my jaw tightened, flickering my eyes around to avoid Pearl’s direction.

“Well, I…” – I cleared my throat, covering my mouth with my free hand. I was able to look at her again, just to meet Pearl studying my face.

“Is everything okay, Jasper?” She spoke softly, putting one hand on her elbow as she forced a smile at me.

“You… _know_ my name?” I squinted my eyes a bit, pondering that info as I tried to hide a bright smile.

“Well, of course. I had seen you… around… sometimes.” She explained a bit embarrassed, I could see her fingers fidgeting a little and her mouth was set in a hard line.

Is Pearl uncomfortable? I tilted my head subtly at this possibility. Am I doing something wrong, besides being awkward?

“Humph…” I mumbled, putting my thoughts together, “Pearl, are you —”

“I…” she interrupted me, and I shut my jaw “I’ve noticed that you’re…” She sighed, drawing her finger over her forehead as she closed her eyes, sounding thoughtful and… frustrated? She then moves her hand out of her face and looks at me, the corner of her mouth lifted. “I’ve been noticing that you look at me sometimes when I pass through the hallways…” My heart skips a beat as my ears burns. “… and my friends have been teasing me about it, so I was meaning to ask you…”

“… _Yes_?” I grimaced, already hoping for the worst.

She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulders and cleared her throat as she joined all of her fingers together, looking at me through the top of her eyes, hesitantly. “The prom is coming up and… oh, geez, _enough of this dwelling._ ” She said the last part under her breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to the prom”!

I perked up at the words, mesmerized. ”I’m… excuse me?”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” She explained, waving her hands at me quickly. “I just… I mean, please don’t be offended. I didn’t do it because of my friends, just so you know! I’ve been thinking, and… I – I look at you sometimes too…” She laughed nervously. “It’s just… I saw you on the _bus_ and it was the _perfect_ opportunity!” She confessed, and I couldn’t bring myself to say a single word. She moved her head a little to the side but kept visual contact. “…But you looked bad like something was going on, and I avoided talking to you.” Her finger went to her sweater collar “Then you moved closer and I figured that you were just uncomfortable to be in these clothes _clearly_ not appropriated in this chilly night, mind you” She looked at my face as if she was scolding me. “But your answer… made me confused, but relieved, at least” she grimaced a little bit in silence, “Well, I still don’t know why, but does it matter now…? Oh, and I'm sorry that you got out of the bus at the wrong stop – but I’m quite thankful! Cause now I can talk to you, and…” She sighed, “I’m really nervous”.

I couldn’t hold in anymore and I snickered, catching her attention. I closed my eyes and put my hand on my forehead as I bloated in laughs, laughing so hard that I snorted; my eyes filled with tears of happiness and _relief_. I just couldn’t _believe!_

It took me a while to calm down, and as I did, I looked at her again. She looked incredibly confused right now, her eyes were wrinkled, and the corner of her mouth lifted… she looked _worried_ about me, and that made me happy.

“Can we – can we talk in private?” I asked, running fingers through my hair.

Pearl’s shoulders got a little tense for a second, and with a kinda nervous smile, she answered, “Well… yeah. My home is close. We can talk in my room…”

“That would be wonderful,” I confess, looking at the time on my cell phone. “Amethyst can wait for her dinner”.

 

(…)

I open the door of the apartment, totally spent. The paper bag still safely in my hands.

“Dude, _finally!”_ Complained Amethyst, running off her chair to greet her dinner and snatch it out of my hands. “It’s past 9! I thought you were _dead_ by now – whoa, my favorite; _nice…_ ”

I continued to walk without paying her much attention. I just had this _silly_ smile on my face right now as I sat on my bed. Apparently, my roommate noticed this, cause the next thing she says is “Dude, _wassup_ with the face?” I just looked at her, widening my smile.

“What’s that song again? About the tree and smooches?” I pondered. “Well, it didn’t have any trees in my version”.


End file.
